Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
True college students do jello shots in the library
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