marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize
