I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
