babies were throwing up all over the place
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
