3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
