Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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