the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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