My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize