ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
Randomize
