so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
