every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
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