drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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