I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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