what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Randomize
