We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
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