and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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