Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Randomize
