so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
