are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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