I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Panties = found
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
