She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
