yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
