I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
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