I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Randomize