Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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