he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Dude my mom stole all your condoms
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Less talking, more tequila
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Randomize