remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
