I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
