So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
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