Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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