this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
