I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
