saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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