that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I love having hate sex.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
True strength comes from lack of pants
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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