I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
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