This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize