if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
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