I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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