That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
this just has baby written all over it
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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