I'm sorry my penis didn't work
its not stalking. its research.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize