I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
you would pick up someone in the library
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
