i just made my gag reflex go away.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Randomize