I just pynch a tree in the face
I will die if light touches me.
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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