Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
