You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
