No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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