I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
