she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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