There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Sober January is a disaster.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
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