is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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