So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Drake has all the answers
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Randomize
