just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
