So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Randomize
