Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Randomize
