I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
my phone needs a breathalizer
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
