Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
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