oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Randomize
