My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
