whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
